How COVID turned my nipples inward
and other lies
We were all set to have a great book release, me and ol’ Max Booth III. You see, his book Abnormal Statistics was released at the end of March and my book was released at the beginning. We were turning the Ghoulish show at Radio very selfishly into a book release party. Alas, it didn’t happen.
I work at a bar so I’m sure I’m the person who gave it to everyone and ruined everybody’s plans. I know you were all planning on drinking and toasting me and Max over and over again until we got suspicious of your motivations. It is what it is.
We had a grand time in Houston though! Rob Saucedo, author of Where Wolf, does programming at the Houston Alamo and invited us over to do a double feature. Max chose People Under the Stairs and I chose Greasy Strangler. There was a great turnout and we sold a ton of books. We performed in between movies and sold more right on the theater floor. It was a grand old time.
Then COVID turned my nipples inward. And now I can hear the chakras in God’s blue dick hole. And I have the knowledge that God’s dick is blue. “It’s the cosmic air out here in Heaven,” he told me while I was shivering on the sweat-sponge that was my bed. “It turns divine appendages blue.” I asked him what other appendages were divine and they told me, “Any thing that is of me or on me is divine. You are divine.” Then I woke up real quick with a pounding headache and some YouTuber blathering on about this or that. Real hellish. I didn’t like COVID one bit.
THE GHOULISH BOOK FESTIVAL
There’s a lot going on in San Antonio this weekend but the only thing that matters is the Ghoulish Book Festival. I will be there. I’m on some panels, the officiant of the very spooky wedding, and the returning champion of the spooky campfire story contest. I do not think I will win this year. But if I don’t win, it’s a sham. I’ll be selling some of my books and my beefy sonic t-shirts. See you there!
